The Killing Moon
by NotxMyxDivision
Summary: "I can't believe we forgot. We never forgot before." "We had other things to think about." James replied, but Sirius could tell he only said so to make him feel better. It felt like they had betrayed Remus, leaving him to himself like this. It felt like fifth year all over again, and that thought made Sirius' stomach turn.


Sirius threw his hands in the air victoriously, and grinned at James, who had a smug grin plastered on his own face.

"You have today off," Moody continued, rummaging through the pockets of his oversized coat for his pipe - little did he know Alice had nicked it before they even left, Sirius though, as Alice hid her giggles against Frank's coat - "If only because I know you're only going to get pissed tonight and won't be of any use tomorrow, but I want you here Thursday at 6am sharp. If you're late I'll have you clean toilets the muggle way."

There was a pained groan from the entire group, and Moody gave them a look that could be amused if he was capable of expressing other emotions than "angry and suspicious". He pulled his hands out of his pockets and gave them a sharp nod. "You're dismissed. And remember…"

"Constant vigilance." The group said in unison, and Sirius gave a wink for good measure when Moody looked his way.

"Alright. Off you go." He didn't give them another look, simply twirled around and disappeared with a crack.

James clasped their hands together. "I suggest we do indeed get drunk, then go to a muggle karaoke bar and let Sirius sing Saturday Night Fever until he passes out."

There was a general muttered approval, which made Sirius roll his eyes. That happened only _once_.

"We can sit outside," Marlene popped up, and her arm sneaked around Sirius' shoulder, a soft tapping on his arm as she grinned down at him, subtly reminding him of his short posture. He gave her a scowl, and tried to subtly kick her shin. She didn't react. "It's the perfect weather, you know. Warm for once, and the full moon. We can even go get pizza and then…"

Sirius halted in his fantasy of making up a potion that would make him grow a couple inches, everything else tuned out when she mentioned the full moon. Surely it couldn't be..

"Wait, McKinnon, what did you say?" He interrupted her chatter, an edge of panic to his voice which made James' head snap towards him, eyebrows raising.

She gave him an odd look. "That it's nice out? Pizza?"

"No, before that, you said…"

"Full moon?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, haven't you noticed? We didn't even need our wands to see during training, how often does that…"

Once again, Sirius tuned her out, his eyes fixed on James', who had sucked in a harsh breath but was doing his best to keep his expression composed. Sirius was not so sure he himself was doing as good a job.

"Actually, we have somewhere to be." James' voice sounded strangely pained, but then he cleared his voice and threw his arm around Sirius' shoulders. "We promised a mate we'd meet up with him tonight and we totally forgot, so…" He tightened his grip slightly, and Sirius forced himself to relax and smile apologetically at the other trainees, eyes landing on Marlene.

"Sorry, McKinnon. Next time, yeah?"

He didn't wait for her reaction, just spun around, grabbing hold of James' hand in the process. James followed swiftly, and Sirius could feel their bodies being pressed together as they disapparated.

They landed right next to the little pond in the Lupin's front yard, James flailing to not get his feet wet again, and clinging to Sirius' jacket to stay upright. "Can't they move this thing?" He grumbled, as he let go again and took a step to the side. "Every damn time."

Sirius shrugged, and tilted his head to listen. The air was completely quiet. No muffled snarls or thumps he knew he should be able to hear. He stalked over to the Lupin's front door, and banged his hand against the heavy wood. It was a long minute before he could hear quick shuffling, and the door was unlocked. It opened a second later, revealing the sleep rumpled face of Mrs. Lupin. When she saw Sirius, her eyes widened in alarm. "Oh god. Sirius? James? What are you doing here?" Her eyes flicked towards the sky, then back at Sirius. "Did something happen? Is he okay, please tell me he is okay." Her voice was frantic, cracking slightly over the last word, and Sirius stared at her in confusion.

"What do you…" He was interrupted by James, who let out a string of curses before moving forward and gently grasping the woman by her shoulders.

"Where did he say he was going?"

Mrs. Lupin's bottom lip started to tremble. "He said.. He said he was going back to Hogwarts. Our basement hasn't been safe for a while but last night the door caved in and Remus said.. He didn't want to endanger us so he left. He said you would be there!"

"Of course he would." Sirius breathed, mentally chiding himself for not realising earlier what day was coming up. "Stupid idiot." He ran a hand through his hair tilted his head, looking up at the full moon himself and wishing he could tear it away. "He can't be in the shack." His voice was lower than his had intended, a low growl in his throat. "The wards haven't been reinstated since last year, so it won't be safe."

Mrs. Lupin let out a soft sob. "Oh no. Oh, oh no, my poor boy."

James, bless him for being good with this, immediately wrapped her in his arms, letting his chin rest on top of her head as she clung to him. "We'll find him, Mrs. Lupin. I promise you we will."

She whimpered, and stepped back, her hand rubbing away the tears that were freely rolling over her cheek. Sirius wondered what it must feel like for her, unable to do anything for her son, unable to understand anything about him that was magic. It must be devastating. He gave her another glance, and then turned his eyes to James. "The closest we can apparate is Hogsmeade Gates."

James nodded, and with a crack he was gone. Sirius put on what he hoped was a comforting smile, and followed.

—-

They stumbled out on the familiar grounds, the air slightly colder here, the night sky more clear and all the more menacing for it. Sirius had never hated it as much as he did tonight. With as much as a glance at each other, they started in a jog. Their feet were heavy on the cobble stones of Hogsmeade, and he could only hope they wouldn't wake anyone.

"As long as he didn't run into any of the ferals, he'll be alright." James said, when they had reached the Hogwarts grounds. "The centaurs will be looking out for him."

Sirius all but snorted. "I don't trust those half-breeds."

It was a clear indication of the severity of the situation that James didn't call him out on that slur, only frowned. "They'll make sure he won't go into the village."

"They'll kill him, you mean." Sirius could all too well imagine the ancient creatures send their poisonous arrows into Remus' flank, snap his neck with their hands.

"They like him." James said, simply. Sirius would never understand how James could be the person he was, trusting and strong when Sirius wasn't.

They left the path leading towards the castle then, ducking through the bushes that framed it, and entered the open grounds. James glanced around, and set towards the forest, turning his head to call to Sirius over his shoulder. "Do you think Padfoot can track him?"

"Can try." Was all Sirius said, before closing his eyes and letting the shift come over him. The world became larger, the familiar scent of the place that had been his home for so many years making him feel dizzy. He halted at the edge of the forest, impatiently huffing as he waited for James to catch up.

"Never thought I'd say it." James puffed, as he bent forward to catch his breath, hands on his knees and head hanging low. "But Madeye might have a point with all his running exercises."

Sirius huffed, and rolled his eyes, though he knew the effect was largely lost while he was Padfoot. He nudged James' knee with his head, and then lifted his nose in the air, sniffing intently. He could smell James, all musk and that disgusting cologne he wouldn't get rid off, and the scent of Hagrid and his puppy were everywhere, but there was no hint of the honey that always seemed to surround Remus. He let out a frustrated growl, and started walking the edge of the forest, nose pressed to the ground in the hopes of catching a whiff of familiar scent. Nothing.

Just when he was about to give up, his ears caught a very faint but familiar howl in the distance. Relief shot through his body, and he shifted back as fast as he could. Too fast, it seemed, because he staggered and fell on his arse, world spinning in front of his eyes.

James, always the good friend, didn't help him up, simply hung over him. "Did you find him?"

"Heard him." Sirius mumbled, as he crawled on his knees and shook his head, trying to clear it. It only gave him a headache. "He's far, at least past the unicorn pond."

James swore, which was oddly comforting. "Can you apparate?"

Sirius lifted his hand in front of him and focused, snapping his fingers. A weak spark was all he managed. "Not yet. I exhausted it all during training."

James nodded. "We'll walk." He placed his wand on his hand, and said. "_Desiderium_."

Sirius watched as the wand spun around, faster and faster, until it settled on pointing somewhere to the North West.

"What's that for?"

"Something Lily invented." James replied, a soft smile appearing on his face despite the situation. "Tracks down whatever, or whoever, you desire most. She made it so we could find each other if we got separated in a dangerous situation."

"Nifty."

"She is."

—-

They kept walking, following the guidance of the wand. Yet after thirty minutes and a detour when they saw a disturbing amount of spiders headed in the direction they were supposed to be going, they still hadn't found any sign of Remus.

"Are you sure it's working properly?" Sirius asked, when they rounded another large rock and still didn't see or hear anything but the rustling of leaves.

"It never failed before. It should work." James said, frustration clear in his voice as he spun the wand around again. He paused then, hesitation in his voice. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Sirius couldn't help but snap. "Come on, mate, every minute we waste is another minute Moony could be tearing at his own throat."

James gave him a nervous shrug, and determinedly stared at his hand. "You reckon it might not work because he's, you know, not completely human?"

Sirius had to fight the urge to not punch his best friend in the face. Only the reminder that it was in fact his best friend, was the thing that held him back from doing so. "Fuck off, Prongs. He's as human as you and I."

"I know that. Just saying… Maybe the magic doesn't know that."

"Magic isn't speciest."

"Fine. Then he's just moving a lot, alright? It could be ages before we find him." James twirled the wand around again, and if to prove something, it pointed in the direction they had just come from. "See?"

Sirius didn't give him an answer, simply turned on his heels and started walking. He had no time to waste on ridiculous discussions. He had a Moony to save from himself.

—-

They continued in silence, occasionally glancing up at at the moon, hoping for the morning to come sooner. Sirius was the first to no longer be able to deal with only the rustling of leaves as company. He let out a deep sigh, focuses his attention on James. "I can't believe we forgot. We never forgot before."

"We had other things to think about." James replied, but Sirius could tell he only said so to make him feel better. It felt like they had betrayed Remus, leaving him to himself like this. It felt like fifth year all over again, and that thought made Sirius' stomach turn.

"What if he…" Killed someone? Killed himself? Ran into a pack and decided that that was the way of living after all? The scenarios ran through his mind, each worse the the previous one. James' breath hitched, and for a moment there was nothing but fear and desperation in the air, none of the mischievous magic of Hogwarts tangible anymore. It hit Sirius, for the first time, that they weren't just training to become Aurors, but that they were already fighting in a war. They weren't just students - they were soldiers. And soldiers have losses. Rationally, he knew that, but he wasn't ready to lose someone as close to him as Remus.

"I know, Pads." James turned his face towards him, giving him a small smile. "But it's going to be fine, _he's_ going to be fine, yeah?"

Sirius nodded, insides temporarily soothed by James' infuriating maturity. He put on a grin. "You sound like your dad."

James snorted, but his features relaxed. "I'm just saying."

"I know."

—-

It was nearing sunrise when they found him. The trees that had been closely surrounding them suddenly parted, giving way to a clearing. James' wand glowed once, and then stilled in his hand. They walked the open space, turning around ever so often in case Remus was lurking behind a bush, but there was no growling, no howling, no sudden tackles. The entire thing felt so wrong. Sirius' hackles stood on end, Padfoot scratching at the inside of his skin. He wanted nothing more than to shift, to scent the air and find out where Remus was, why Sirius couldn't sense him - but hist magic still hadn't recovered enough.

"It's wrong." He growled at James' back. "Why the fuck isn't it here?"

"It has to be here." James hissed back, spinning on his heels. He flailed his arms around. "Maybe he's hiding."

"I can't sense him. If he's here, why can't I sense him?"

"Maybe his magic is exhausted too, dragon's balls, Sirius, I don't know, alright?"

James turned away from him again, and raised his wand. He swung it wide, almost lazily, as he said. "_Homenum revelio_."

Not far away from them a pile of what seemingly were leaves trembled before they flew in every direction, revealing a very familiar figure. James and Sirius stared for a couple long seconds, their annoyance suddenly faded to the background. When Remus shifted, the world seemed to come back to them, and they almost tripped over their own feet in their haste to get to their friend. When Sirius caught sight of Remus, however, he froze in place. James - forever calm James - kneeled down next to Remus and wiped some leaves off his cheek, revealing a gash running over his cheek and neck, down to his shoulder. He let his eyes trail away from Remus' face, down his chest instead. It wasn't much better. Remus' body was covered in long, deep gashes, which didn't seem to be healing at their usual rate. He also seemed to be deeply asleep, despite the unnatural angle at which his arm was bent. _Or unconscious_, the little voice in the back of Sirius' mind provided. _It's better than dead._

He shook his head to get rid of those thoughts, and kneeled down as well, carefully placing a hand on an uninjured patch of skin on his chest.

"Remus?"

Remus didn't reply - not that Sirius had expected him to - but he did stir, which sent a wave of relief through his body.

"Remus, come on, mate, wakey wakey."

Remus' lip twitched, and he very slowly opened one eye, looking up at Sirius. "Eggs and bakey?"

James snorted out a laugh, flopping down on his arse in the mess of damp leaves as he ran a hand through his hair, muttering about "lunacy". Sirius tried not to think about how many of those leaves were damp with bodily fluids, since many of Remus' wounds still sluggishly bleeding. So he just reached for Remus' hand, squeezing it gently, "You look like shite."

"It was a rough night." Remus said. He tried to smile at Sirius, which felt more like a grimace than anything else. "Whotcher Sirius."

"Fucking pissed at you." Sirius replied, and he hated how his voice was shaking, none of the fire he intended to put behind his words.

"We have to get you inside." James fumbled to get his wand again, muttering something. Sirius saw the familiar silver shape from the corner of his eyes, lighting up the clearing. "Tell Pomfrey where we are, that we will try to move him."

The light brightened for a moment, before it disappeared.

James breathed a sigh of relief, and turned back to Remus. "Isn't this just like the old days?"

Sirius laughed, the sound almost hysterical in the silent morning air. Remus tried to roll on his side, but then he started coughing, spitting some blood on the ground.

"Well that most definitely isn't like the old days."

"It was a harsh one." Remus agreed. "I think I'm going to sleep it off." His eyes were already sliding shut again, but if there was something Sirius had remembered from his first aid classes, it was that someone gravely injured shouldn't go to sleep, lest they not wake up. James seemed to share that thought.

"Remus, Moony, mate." He said, reaching for their friend's cheek, covering it with his hand. Remus involuntarily leant into it. "You have to stay awake."

"Sleepy." Remus murmured against his hand, and Sirius thought that if he had been able to, Remus would have curled up on the forest floor. "Very."

"Going to be completely honest with you here, mate." James said, and his voice was still as calm as before, only now with a hint of urgency to it. "If you fall asleep now, you're going to die, and Sirius here will probably go on a murder spree."

"Hey." Sirius said indignantly, though it was oath it for the small smile on Remus' face.

"Must avoid that."

"At all cost." James agreed, eyes trailing over Remus' body. He looked a bit green in the face - Sirius shared the sentiment.

He didn't know how long they sat there, waiting for a reply from Pomfrey, occasionally tapping at Remus' shoulder with their wands to share some of their magic to help him heal faster - it didn't seem like it was working, but they couldn't stop it, couldn't stop because if they stopped Remus might die.

The loud bang next to them came as the biggest relief in Sirius' life, and not even the angry look on Madame Pomfrey's face - though it was terrifying - was enough to throw him off.

"Barking mad, the lot of you." She said, eyes shooting daggers at both James and Sirius. "I'm not going to let you rascals carry him when he's injured."

"Lovely to see you too, Poppy." James mumbled, and took a step back when she gave him an especially poisonous look.

Sirius couldn't help but smile at how James was pretty much cowering for all the women in his life - though Sirius had to admit they were all very intimidating. Even the love of his life, Minerva darling, could be very intense.

Pomfrey's voice softened when she crouched next to Remus, ran a soothing hand through his hair. "Remus, darling, this has been a while."

"Thought you were rid of me, huh?" Remus replied weakly. Sirius hated how thin his voice was. Pompfrey huffed as she opened her bag.

"Lucky me I am still prepared. Any idea why you're not healing?" She put a small bottle at Remus' lips, pouring a flashy blue liquid in his mouth.

When he spoke again, his voice was stronger again. "I think I ran into some monkshood earlier."

"Dangerous plants, those." She rummaged through her bag again, took out a jar and swiped out a royal amount of peachy cream. Sirius watched in awe as she covered the long gashes, hands firm yet careful as she rubbed it in the wounds. "You're lucky you're still alive then."

"I don't feel particularly lucky." Remus said, which made Pomfrey flick his nose.

"You're not going to die on Hogwarts grounds, now are you, Mr. Lupin? That would put a blemish on our good name."

Remus smiled crookedly at her. "I'll do my best to wait until I'm gone then."

"Good lad." She took out another bottle - one which Sirius recognised as a Pepper-up potion, and handed it to James. "You two look like you could use this. You're going to help me float him to the castle." She gave them both an apprehensive look. "Is that awful Moody exhausting you again? I told him it's not healthy to take you to your limits this often."

James gulped down half the bottle in one go, and shivered when the potion started working. "It was a simulation training today." He handed it to Sirius, who squeezed his nose shut and gulped it down as well, before replying; "We would have Apparated him to you but our magic was very low and we didn't want to risk Splinching him."

"That's the first time I hear some sensible words from your mouth, Mr. Black."

Remus - the arsehole - let out a huff of pained sounding laughter. James too, smirked, though he had the decency to attempt to hide it.

"You wound me." Sirius said, dramatically covering his heart with a hand. "Sensible is my middle name."

Pomfrey snorted, as she put a soothing potion at Remus' lips again. "Use that sensible mind of yours to cushion Mr. Lupin before we make him float."

"Yes, M'am." He turned to Remus, and placed his wand against his upper arm. "You better stay alive, you dickwart."

"You always say the sweetest things." Remus murmured, before closing his eyes and gently dozing off.


End file.
